If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- Rita Mae Brown

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

- Jack Handey

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will still prefer to be given a fish.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will still prefer to be given a fish.

- reddit.com

No news is good news.

No news is good news.
- addic7ed.com

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
- Leonard Levinson

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.
- Bill Cosby

Dear self-proclaimed photographers, the quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera. You're welcome.

Dear self-proclaimed photographers, the quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera. You're welcome.
@Adi_ction

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don't really mean it either.

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don't really mean it either.
- Reddit

Firetruck Game!

Boy: lets play the fire truck game
Girl: Ok how do you play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your legs until you say red light
Girl: Ok
(starts? Game)
Girl: Red light
Boy: Firetrucks don't stop for red lights

via: Reddit

I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.

I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.

- Will Ferrell

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

- Don Marquis

Flip a coin, but don't look at the result. For that moment when coin is in the air, you'll know what you secretly hope for.

Flip a coin, but don't look at the result. For that moment when coin is in the air, you'll know what you secretly hope for.

- mi33, Reddit

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

- Dick Brandon

Every year we make a promise and we don't keep it. My promise this year is to break my promise.

Every year we make a promise and we don't keep it. My promise this year is to break my promise.

- unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

- Dudley Moore

“The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.”

“The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.”

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says, "Hey, don't you know that t

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says, "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!" "That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer." "So? What's that got to do with anything?" "We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."

- unknown

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

- thenerdsdotnet

I never apologize! I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

I never apologize! I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

- Homer Simpson

So... the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone wh

So... the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face".

- unknown